Sunday, January 08, 2006
The rainy weather has caused me to postpone my blading session with Andre again. Thereby allowing myself to settle in a vegetating lifestyle of mainly sleeping, eating and wasting time away..
read this at Wan Qi's blog... Something meaningful and worth reflecting on....
"Bargain Basement"
I discussed the Discount Concept with a few people yesterday. So I thought I’d talk about it now.The Discount Concept goes kinda along the same lines of the Old Cow New Cow Concept, except that it applies in this case, mostly to girls.
Let’s take Sally. Sally is your ubiquitous, typical girl. She’s not Miss Universe, but she’s not a cow either. Sally meets Harry. Now, Harry is no Prince Charming. But he’s really sweet to Sally, and he’s kinda funny and they start going out. Now, while Harry is hardly Sally’s idea of Mr Perfect, or even quite what she imagined Mr Right might be like, but they get along pretty well and she quite enjoys his company and attentions. So, Sally starts making DISCOUNTS for Harry. The list kinda goes like this:
Sally’s hopes for Mr Right:
1. Above 1.70m in height. (Harry is 1.60m, so, give DISCOUNT)
2. Cute (Harry is more on the ugly side, but he can be adorable at times, so, give DISCOUNT)
3. Fit (Harry’s not fat, but he definitely doesn’t have visible muscles, so, give DISCOUNT)
4. Graduate (Harry didn’t go to the university, so, give DISCOUNT)
5. Financial stability (Harry isn’t in the habit of saving for a rainy day, so, give DISCOUNT)
6. Good dress sense (Harry’s idea of a classic fashion statement: striped polo shirts tucked into pants that are just a little too tight in the seat and a little too short at the ankle, so, give DISCOUNT)
7. Sensitive, gentlemanly and savvy in social occasions (Harry’s laugh is a little too loud, and sometimes sounds suspiciously like a bray; he believes that tears are for wusses and all real men drink Tiger and *gasp* he eats with his mouth open. SooOOO, give DISCOUNT)
8. Good sense of humour (Harry’s favourite brand of humour is showcased in the Jay and Silent Bob Movie and he thinks Ali G is the funniest dude on earth. Though to be fair, he knows lots of corny jokes that aren’t actually too bad, soooOOO, give DISCOUNT)
9. Able to carry on intelligent conversations (on current affairs etc.)(Harry’s idea of intelligent conversation usually has to do with Ruud van Nistelrooy’s latest goal or whether Owen should have left Liverpool. Until recently, he thought Condoleezza Rice was a new cereal from Kellogg’s. SooOOO, give DISCOUNT)
The list goes on, but you get the idea by now, I suppose….
At the end of the GREAT BIG SALE, the verdict?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Harry makes the cut!! And Sally settles down to contemplate a long-term future with him. They progress along fairly smoothly, and soon they are talking marriage. By this time, they have been a couple for 4 years and they share an apartment, a cat and a car...
Suddenly, Bunny appears. Now, Bunny is either
a. Harry’s first love
b. The head cheerleader Harry had a crush on in high school
c. A chick from his office
d. A client
e. A KTV hostess
f. The middle-aged widow who moved in next door
g. The roadsweeper
(Once again, the list goes on and you get my point and no, I do not think at all highly of Harrys…)
Now, for some strange reason (that can only be due to an accident in the cosmos, or really degenerate, defective instincts in humankind today)
Harry feels some sort of connection with Bunny and/or vice versa. So Harry and Bunny start either:
a. meeting for clandestine lunches and/or dinner etc
b. sending each other clandestine SMSes and/or emails
c. having clandestine phone sex
d. having clandestine cyber sex
e. having clandestine sex in person
f. sharing other clandestine activities
g. some or all of the above
(Once again, you get the idea….)
Somewhere down this terribly deceitful and nefarious road, Sally finds out about this clandestine relationship. Harry tries to deny it, but when left with no escape, admits to it. Sally is shattered. But chances are, as hurt and angry and betrayed as she may feel, she is willing to give him another chance. And so they drag on dismally for some time. However, the sordid state of things between Harry and Bunny do not come to an absolute end either. And the whole mess gets messier and messier.
Finally, Harry decides that:
a. Sally is just a little too staid (read: BORING) for him
b. Sally limits him. She hinders him from pursuing his grand dream of becoming a Nobel prize winning author/musician/artist, that he had given up when he was six.
c. Sally is not good enough in bed
d. Sally is starting to be a little frumpy
e. Sally is too bossy
f. Etc etc etc
AND
a. Bunny is the THE ONE. The LOVE OF HIS LIFE. GOD’S GIFT TO MANKIND. MIND-BLOWING SEX PERSONIFIED ETC ETC ETC
Finally, Harry breaks up with Sally, secretly congratulating himself that he had narrowly escaped making the greatest mistake in his life. He moves in with Bunny or they run away to the Carribeans or something.
And Sally? The poor girl is devastated. Her life is in pieces. She binges on junk food, she stops doing laundry, infomercials become the ultimate entertainment, she stops taking baths….
Now, some Sallys get back to their feet and some Sallys don’t.
What do they all share in common? They ALL made DISCOUNTS for their Harrys.
KNN, can discount one, already give discount. CANNOT discount one, ALSO give discount. And then? In the end, the WANKER can still turn around and fuck her over anyway??? WHERE’S THE JUSTICE???
And they say women are unnecessarily angsty??? PUI!!!!!!!!!
Okok, I admit. This account is definitely kinda extreme lah, and admittedly, was sparked by something that came up recently. BUT think about it. How many of you haven’t given discounts to someone else or been given discounts by someone else??
Are you a Harry? (You know, most of the Harrys I knew ended up with nothing, coz things with Bunny didn’t just not work out, the Bunnys damn near cleaned them out. Some damn lucky Harrys crawled back to their Sallys though, and the silly girls actually took them back.)
At the end of the day, everyone should take a good look in the mirror lah. Sometimes, the things we have, are already mega-blessings from God and we should everyday burn incense and give thanks already. Don’t KNN wish for the sun and the moon when we already have a tiny twinkling star in our hands.
Oh, moral of story?
Girls, you’re not a bloody bargain basement, ok??? Wanna give discount also must open eye big big, BIG BIG, and see ok???
Don’t be a Sally. The poor girl gave so much discount until in the end, she discounted herself as well. I’m not saying hold out for bloody Colin Farrell but don’t settle for a toad then let the toad fuck you over either!"